Sunday, September 18, 2011

‘And if you gaze into the abyss, Rahul gazes into you’

It’s probably accurate to say that this blog hasn’t been kind to Jeetendra and his progeny over the years. I’ve written flippant posts about the films he has appeared in – Dharam Veer, The Turning Brain and Nagin among them – and mocked the tendency to credit him “Above All” in movies where he had an inconsequential role. I’ve commented on the pointlessness of Tusshar Kapoor and written rude things about Ekta Kapoor’s serials (including her mangling of a beloved epic: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) as well as a skit about her encounter with the Goddess Kali. Rereading some of these posts makes me feel like a lowly earthworm wiggling through slush, much like Jeetendra and Reena Roy in that snake dance, and my conscience makes a “tuk tuk” sound like the shuttlecock popping against Jeetu’s badminton racquet in that Humjoli song. But I digress.

Despite my own record of misdemeanours on the subject of Jeetendra, I have now read something that makes me feel deeply sorry for him: this hilarious post from an American humour site about “the 8 manliest foreign movie posters ever”. At number 1 is a Jaani Dushman poster, and don’t miss what the writer has to say about our hero, whom he recasts as a generic “Rahul”. (He also describes poor Sunil Dutt as "an Arabic Ron Jeremy".)

This post has been going viral on the Net. Given its popularity, it’s probable that long after Jeetendra’s distinguished body of work (Ekta and Tusshar included) has been forgotten, he will be remembered in distant countries as “Rahul, who wanted to rape the wolfman”. Would you wish that fate on him? (Take a deep breath before answering: remember, Rahul’s eyes are watching you.)

P.S. Much as I’d like to take credit for the title of this post, it comes from one of the comments on the piece.


  1. The writer does fail to mention though that all these posters are from films of the 70s-80s. These days most Bollywood film posters are as dull and soulless as the Hollywood ones.

  2. Once, while looking for posters of Pyaasa, I had come across several 'amazing' specimens from the 70s. Unfortunately, I lost the link to a Picasa album which had all the best ones at a single place.

    I had read about the thing on a number of blogs but hadn't bothered to read the piece itself until now :)

    I think the casting of Jeetendra as a generic Rahul takes the cake. The name itself sounds so innocuous! But then, it is the eyes that matter.

  3. My favorite article is this. I have to admit I have been one of those fans at some time or the other.

  4. Now everyone, including those hitherto oblivious to the charms of "Rahul", will cringe at the dialogue,"Rahul, naam to suna hoga !"

  5. Haha! Enjoyed the post but I have to admit that your several takes on a particular Jeetuji progeny - where the letter 'K' is surprisingly the second letter in the name! - have been rather hilarious. I recall the one where Jabberwock in the guise of Kali rang in the end of the world :)