Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Spellwreck

There’s been too much gravitas in the blogosphere lately, so here’s a two-bit attempt at lightening the mood (though of course there’s always the danger that this will make it worse). Many summers ago, while editing a film piece for Britannica, I discovered that Microsoft Word’s Spellcheck proffered the suggestion “Urinal sin” for the name of the revered director Mrinal Sen. (This was around the time George Michael was arrested for doing unnamable things in a public toilet.) Shaken, I made it my mission to track other such dastardly forced conversions, some of which I now present you:

Mallika Sherawat - Manlike shrew

Rani Mukherji - Rank moocher

Preity Zinta - Peaty zinc

Ajay Devgan - Ahoy, deviant

Sanjay Dutt - Sandy dust

Hrithik Roshan - Heretic Russian (also Rhythmic Russian, but that just feels wrong)

Sanjay Leela Bhansali - Sunday lilac, banal

Vidhu Vinod Chopra - Idaho vendor choir (now there’s a concert I’d never attend). Also, Vishnu vine chops

Karan Johar - Koran Jihad

Sachin Tendulkar - Sacking tenderly

Ritwik Ghatak - Rethink Ghana. Also, Ratfink gate and Nitwit grated

Mithun Chakraborty - Methane chalkboard (sorry, Great Bong)

(Strategically placed commas mine)


P.S. "Arindam Chaudhuri" becomes "Grandma Claudia" or "Random chihuahua", take your pick.

16 comments:

  1. These are just hilarious and many of them are spot on as well! Who would have thought. Bhansali = banal, sure I can see that, don't need the spellcheck for that insight.

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  2. What about "Jai Arjun Singh"?
    Jail Arizona Swing

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  3. Jai Around, Sigh/Sing/Singe - take your pick ;-)

    -Somali Kazoo

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  4. Sometimes wordprocessors seem to have an "intelligent mind", and come up with remarkable suggestions.

    Amitabh Bachchan: Epitaph backchat

    Blogs: blots

    :-)

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  5. For my name Mridula, it is offering

    Midol, Gradual, Ritual, Middle and Midcult. I am glad it is not offering plain 'mad.'

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  6. and they say machines can't think. oh, somebody already said that. lovely post.

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  7. Now, doesn't that fit you Patrix? :)

    Signed,
    Leek Levers.

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  8. This would have worked better as the first comment, but

    Wah! Wah!

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  9. Guava Ghost here saying "gooood post"

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  10. Remind me to introduce you to Smite Chortles next!

    Hee! Hee! This was fun!

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  11. Hello, my name is No Spelling Suggestions No Spelling Suggestions. Pleased to meet you.


    :(

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  12. Bihar throws up Bizarre. Can you beat that?

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  13. Funny ha ha.
    Try soured gangly :)

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  14. Amazing...methane chalkboard...who could have ever thought !

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  15. My spell-checked name is way sexier than the one I have to continually live with... Sharon Bach sounds cool, maybe I'll keep it.

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  16. Mine came out as Submit Data

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