Friday, November 16, 2007

Jumping jack-son

Earlier today, a sudden epiphany made clear to me the purpose behind Tusshar Kapoor’s seemingly pointless existence. The answer lies buried in an old folk-tale I read in an Amar Chitra Katha long years ago.

I don’t remember all the details but here’s the gist of the story. A fisherman and his young son supplement their daily living by rowing groups of people from one bank of the river to the other. For some reason – overcharging, probably – the customers resent the fisherman and speak badly of him behind his back. The son is deeply disturbed by this criticism and takes it upon himself to improve his father’s image. This he does by redirecting the censure to himself: when he gets to man the boat alone for a few days (because his dad is indisposed), he behaves obnoxiously with the travellers, pushes a few elderly people into the water and such. Soon the customers are cursing the son instead, and praying for the father’s quick return.

Moral of the story: it falls to children to redeem their parents’ reputations, even if they do this at the cost of their own.

Hence Tusshar Kapoor. The man is so gut-churningly dreadful in everything he does (onscreen, at least) that it becomes possible for us to retrospectively appreciate the brilliance of Jeetendra’s career – something we could never do at the time. The dancing on giant pots with Sridevi? The badminton song in Humjoli? The short skirt in Nagin? The white shoes? Even the pencil moustache? All of it looks like High Art now.

See, this is another reason why people have children, and why they get so sensitive about the subject. We should all have Tusshar Kapoors.

[Earlier posts involving Jeetendra’s films and progeny: Dharam-Veer, Nagin/Jaani Dushman, The Turning Brain, Ekta Kapoor’s soaps]

17 comments:

  1. dammit! I totally missed that comments thread on your Hutch post. Hypersensitive parent types, if you're reading this, note that Jai is being all selfish and making fun of you again. Please come and leave random comments about it on this post. Please, pretty please.

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  2. Hahaha...yeah, Tushar Kapoor is a wonder of nature, but I thought he did a decent job in Khaki. After that though, it's just been downhill. Also, I always get this feeling of an unshaved look from him, even if he is clean-shaven. Maybe he can consider modelling for Gilette as the Before guy as a safe career option.

    PS: The only movie I have liked Jeetu in is Parichay - a very restrianed performance and certainly no jumping.

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  3. ROTFL!! Now I really know why Tushar kapoor exists!! This was hilarious!

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  4. Sirjee, tusi gr8 ho...kya kya sochte ho

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  5. tushar is good in comedy roles ... jeetu's other kid ekta has done wonedrs in television (i really like her soaps )maybe tushar can shine there .... i donth think jeetu had such a bad career that tusshar has to compensate for it

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  6. Bogart and Audrey Hepburn should have sung a song while playing lawn-tennis instead of talking and drinking champagne.

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  7. wow. i missed the war on that post. my favourite, which i insist should get an hon mention on your year ending list, jai, is:

    and AB i am assuming u r unmarried , once u get married u will have kids coz all women naturally wanna become mothers ..thats why god made them a certain way..thats why J.wock and dd and other naysayers all will also have kids
    bv


    did you know jai, that no exercise of free will on your part can alter your fate? you WILL have kids. and you'll get all mushy and teary-eyed when the poop hits your favourite, freshly laundered t-shirt.

    read and weep, oh you ye of little faith!

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  8. Space Bar: THAT'S your favourite? I take it you missed the "i hope i can give my son enuff indian values even tho i live in canada" and, best of all, the "dont worry abt my sex life .. my son is proof that its rocking .."?

    ArSENik: you judge Jeetendra on the basis of his restrained performances? Where's your soul, man?

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  9. i didn't miss the enuff in canada one, but that's par for the course. i'm wondering how i missed the other one, though. i wonder what the son has to do with his parent's sex life...it's all very oedipal.

    but still...i'm rather fond of the thought that all women naturally wanna be mothers. i think you should seriously consider this for some special category all its own.

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  10. Kumar: if you say so. Is your first name Sanjeev perchance?

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  11. I truly enjoy reading comments to your posts as much as the post itself.

    Parichay & Khushboo are two movies I can think of that are good in spite of Jitendra being the lead actor. Same is true for Tushar too - Khaki & Shootout at Lokhandwala were good. Thank God, he was not the lead actor in them though!

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  12. Haven't read something this hilarious in a long, long time!

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  13. Leave the poor 'Kapoor' alone. After all he is a future talent to watch.

    He needs a strong shot of steroids to get a masculine look first and secondly go easy on the boy , you 'nasty' Jabberwock.

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  14. Leave the poor 'Kapoor' alone. After all he is a future talent to watch.

    Which one? Tusshar or Jeetendra? (After all, even Jeetu-ji is nearly 20 years younger than the evergreen Devsaab!)

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  15. If you talk about soul inspiring stuff, Jeetuji doesn't hold a candle, or even a badminton racket to Prabhuji MithunDa. So, Tushshar Kapoor really is the mediocre son of a mediocre 'star'. Indian cinema, in its current teenage state, needs people like these to play second fiddle to the protagonists.

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  16. If you have seen Tusshar dance next to Jeetu in OSO, then you would know the boatman is now trying to show how ghastly his son actually is!

    And your Hutch post started with whether to like dogs or not and ended with enuff Indian values and moral absolutism... Awesome!

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