Saturday, December 30, 2006

The year-end comments list

In keeping with seasonal tradition, here’s a lovingly compiled selection of the most flattering comments this blog received in the past year.

From review posts

Anonymous said:
yes, there are books like this. yes, there are. see how smart we all are? see how we all know there are OTHER books like these? see how we desperately need to talk about the newest title first? it's because none of us has ever been to college outside delhi. yes, that's true.

Dtacsfw said:
Pitiful, really! This love fest of the mediocres.

Surabjit said:
your post personifies the problem with people who attempt book reviews in india these days: terms like 'surrealism' are thrown around as if they were terms you came across in a book called 'idiot's guide to literature'. you have clearly studied that book by heart….
please understand, this is NOT an attempt to malign you in any way.

Sunny said:
You give yourself FAR too much importance, my stupid Punjabi friend

Diet4free said:
I just came across your blog about weight loss and wanted to say how fascinating your information is. Know a good site when I see one. Keep up the good work

[The post was a review of Upamanyu Chatterjee’s Weight Loss]

Rashi Jain said:
First of all I would like to remind you that Penguin team is wise enough to decide about Which works it should publish. And secondly Please let me know what actually has sounded “Drab” to you?? Was it Mrs. Puri’s hilarious take on Punjabi “desi ghee” or her mock-heroism { she talks of The hand which had a language of its own as if it was the god’s Hand} or her dexterous comparison where the burden of Family jewels become “the burden of inheritance” . I think You could understand the universal appeal of the novel.

[Beavis-and-Butthead laugh at “family jewels”]

Khozema said:
sorry no time to read the matter. Anyways keep it up…

[The most honest comment I’ve received on any of my rambling film posts]

Anonymous said:
mr jai arjun,all those gimmics which u found interesting work only when there's a good story line around which they are woven.. here the story line is wafer thin.. almost non existent and full of loopholes..
i used to be a regular visitor to ur blog but now i have doubts..
i think u were more impressed by the film coz rangan found it excellent..


Anonymous said:
Well, I am even wondering why I am commenting on this post. In any case I think people who are historians/literature experts...are really losing focus on what the epic wants to convey. The epic was written to appeal to the sensibilities of the people existing then and convey some meaningful lessons as it goes along. If nitpicking is what gives these folks the big "kick" in their lives then they are not adding too much value except for cheap thrills.

[Um yes, I can see how stories about rishis ejaculating in pots would appeal to the sensibilities of people and convey meaningful lessons]

I Luvv my Indiaaa

Anonymous said:
Just happened to got to this site somehow.. man you guys do live in a world of your own, where is it ? Seems to be on a different planet then my India.

[Oops, I inadvertently expanded someone’s horizons!]

Balaji said:
It is "because of gods" by then and in future india would lead the Human race.
I object to the title inspite of Gods !!!
She has a age-old tradition,culture & sprituality which graces the whole human race… we cannot tolerate such ridiculous writing in the name of "Journalism" .
Even the very title is hurting the feelings of we indians.
I would post a long list of objections against this book some time later(may be couple of days).

[My favourite sentence in the whole world: “this is hurting the feelings of we Indians”]

Ganesh said:
Yes, scorn away to glory guys.. The same things if you see in an english movie and you would gawk in surprise and would even recommend it to your friends.. I have observed one thing is that they wouldn't mind recommending a shady english movie to friends instead of a hindi movie.. wonder why??

Candid corner

Neelangela said:
Can I marry you? Anyone but anyone who stands up for the delectable Zidane deserves at least a proposal of marriage.

Umesh Patil said:
I won't ever send a smiley with my message it is so awfull. Thank you

Anonymous said:
I'm not going to bother with my details but lets just say - as a customs officer from Bihar - I've seen Mr Sinha's passport up close and his official DOB is 9th Dec 1946 so please stop worrying about his age and worry more about your dad's.....or your moms if you please. Yeah thats sounds about right.
Thanks

[From a post where I dared to cast aspersions on Shatrughan Sinha’s age]

Life in Transit said:
At the risk of sounding cliche, I would say nothing is permanent. Anyway, it was an interesting post.

The Introvert said:
First time i read about Karna in that light.. today i lost admiration for the only character in mahabharata i ever liked.

[or: How I change people's worldviews just by clicking "Publish post"]

Anonymous said:
Dharmendra is indeed an actor blaised with artistic skills who has almost done every kind of roll. I therefore credit Garam Dharam higher than Big B. The media has just not being fair and just towards Dharam Singh Deol, our he-man hero of the Indian Celluloid.

[mutton roll, roomali roll, egg roll, rock ’n roll?]

Deepak said:
I smell a wannabe spirit in your writing. Trying to show that you're a learned man now & the norms don't apply to you anymore?..But this one's been employed by wannabes earlier too and I'll bet my bottom athanni that you're an atheist too...Keep it coming. Just make sure you don't lose your mind overdoing it..

4WD said:
You put used toothpicks in your pocket?

[Yes, that's why I’ve stopped going to fancy book-launches. Laundry bill gets too high]

And of course the anti-Julia Roberts post I wrote more than two years ago in a fit of puerile stream-of-consciousness (and which I’m quite embarrassed about now) continues to draw comments from people who take Julia Roberts (and me) very, very seriously.

Anonymous said:
i love julia roberts. how a man can hate that girl?.. i think u need help. i think u have a bad brain. well thats it.

Anonymous said:
hey i got on this site searching about julia roberts and i think u guys r soooo gay! wat the hell is ur problem and u really dont have a life. who ever made this site is such a loser and probably has no friends and no life !

Julia Roberts said:
I hate Jai Arjun Singh

Last list here, and happy 2007 etc, especially to the trolls who have enlivened the past year beyond measure.

14 comments:

  1. So that afforded me a few self-conscious chuckles... I wonder how many comments of mine come across like that. Then I decided not to... wonder, i.e.

    Could you also, please point us neophytes to the particular posts the comments are about? In particular the Julia Roberts one... I want to see what words of rancour sprang from your peurile mind about my gorgeous ham-lipped goddess. (I would insert a smiley here, but I fear celestial wrath. See what you have done, Mr. Singh? I am constantly ahving a conversation with you in my mind when I read your blog, trying to anticipate what you will say in order to decide what I say now. Bah... creepy or what?)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish to be on this list next year. May year 2007 be Happy & Gay for you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jai, there's only one thing Indian people like more than Julia Roberts...
    Post an unkind review of Friends and all the 7 season dvd wielding freaks will descend on this blog like dive bombers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ''As if ur shitty blog was'nt enough you're trying to pass of the shitty comments u receive as an interesting post. U need help dude ..''

    Lol. Plese add this to the list.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lol..that is So very funny. Thank you.

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  6. I love the line 'This love fest of mediocres'

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  7. Jai, for this list alone, you must never, ever stop blogging.

    And you dared to cast aspersions on Mr. Shatrughan Sinha’s age?? The *nerve* of these young journalists! Pah!

    P.S. I now see Dharmendra in a whole new light.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anangbhai: I must break your heart by announcing that I'm a huge Friends fan myself and have seen each episode of the first five seasons at least 6 times. You do the post, I'll leave nasty comments on your blog then...

    Anonymous 3: you're too late, dude - the post is already up. But if you delete your comment and re-post it on January 1 (IST) I promise I'll consider it for next year's list.

    Vi: Yes, I'm thinking of making that line my new Blog Description.

    Divya: in all fairness what I wrote about garam Dharam was even more adulatory, though I made no mention of "rolls"...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jai, I can never do better than this, but its always sincere:

    HAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    you are such a gift to the (cyber)world!

    happy new year~

    ReplyDelete
  10. And to think I read this blog BECAUSE of that Julia Roberts post. I think that says something about me.

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  11. Hehehe! I always love these nasty commenters who tell you that you'er blog is not worth it, and hwo they have better things to do than read it but still go through the complicated process of commenting and getting abusive. Love the irony!
    Anyway, have a wonderful new year. You've earned yourself a blog fan.

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  12. If abusive comments get publicity on your blog, watch this space! *rubs hands together with evil grin*

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  13. heh! now you have anonymice sending in their entries for the list.

    loved the one from diet4free (are there some people who actually get PAID for it too?!) - I had a comment recently from Sara on my post on karwa chauth - "Hi! My husband is trying to loose weight at the moment. He is walking 6 miles a day and is eating healthily. He takes Cod Liver Oil Tablets everyday but he still doesn’t feel like its helping him. Should he take Multi Vitamins instead to give him a boost or could he take the two together?
    Thanks" - perhaps I could direct her to your review of UC's book :)

    ReplyDelete