Sunday, April 01, 2007

Altoo does the Caribbean

More political correctness and all-round politeness from the revered TV journalist and anthropologist Shamya Dasgupta (known to close friends as Altoo). Currently in the West Indies and closely examining the human condition, he dissects little children and their parents (not literally, though he’d like to):
Indian kids are particularly noisy because Indians, as parents, aren't particularly great. And they allow their little assholes that much more room to misbehave.
and
They cried. Loud and strong. Their parents paid not a heed. Obviously, mothers across the world work on the same philosophy: I went through nine months of hell for this piece of shit; I don't care who you are, but you're going to have to go through at least ninety minutes of the same shit.
Full post here. Uncharacteristically, it ends with a description of a beautiful little girl-child, which makes me think Shamya is at last ready to be a father himself. And don’t miss the last sentence.

Also, from this post on Guyana:
The colour of people here varies from a terrible dirty off-white to a beautiful chocolatey dark brown. And while some people look like Oliver Kahn, a lot of the people are very good-looking.
We eagerly await new breakthroughs in studies of the species.

5 comments:

  1. I await the day when Altoo has kids of his own and I seriously want to see them misbehave - get air sick, car sick, throw up all over him, have 2 minute attention spans, imagine they are aircraft pilots just when you are in the midst of buckling them up and the flight is about to take off....

    I'd like to see him go through sleepless nights, zombied days starting with weeks, months on end, nappy changes, endless visits to the doctors....

    And then I'd urge him to repeat this crap like a mantra....

    "Obviously, mothers across the world work on the same philosophy: I went through nine months of hell for this piece of shit; I don't care who you are, but you're going to have to go through at least ninety minutes of the same shit."

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  2. "...nine months of hell..." hmmm, must say I quite enjoyed my pregnancy -- and I'm not the only one. And Indian children really aren't all that bad -- at last not compared to some of the kids in here in the UK.

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  3. Jai: Bite your tongue!!! Or put your finger through a shredder!

    Read@Peace: No such luck. Me not havin' no baby.

    Sabiha: Not much experience of Under-5 British kids. Must be worse than the Indian kids. They are mostly white, aren't they?

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  4. Shamya: why?! I'm just sending traffic your way. And given your missus's suggestion that I'm a member of an online "community", it's only fair that you get a taste of some of the righteous indignation I've been dealing with for years.

    Deepika: why do you call the mantra crap? The first para of your comment only seems to confirm Shamya's thesis! (Or do you mean the "hell" persists for a lifetime, not just for nine months?)

    Sabiha: my sympathies.

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  5. Sorry, Jai. Didn't realise that. Uhh...not used to righteous indignation on my blog, see.

    Sabiha and Deepika: Both of you are right. Next time, comment on my blog. Makes the blog look good.

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