I had just about decided that the acting in Faltu was the worst I’d ever seen in a film, but then I popped across to the next hall to catch a film titled It Could Be You (in the Indian Competition section, no less), and the ranking had to be promptly re-thought. This is an unbelievably bad NRI movie that takes every imaginable cliché, blows it up, and smears it all over the viewer’s face (and I’m speaking here as someone who’s witnessed some very extreme NRI behaviour firsthand, and who knows how filmi it can get in real life). Watching this film is as edifying as two hours spent watching a man trying to milk a long-dead cow on the roadside; after just 20 or so minutes I was crying out for the restrained, tasteful sensibility of a Govinda-David Dhawan movie. It meanders from unfunny slapstick comedy to unintentionally funny morality tale about the relative importance of family and money, to an inept hired-killer yarn with a family solemnly planning the demise of their patriarch (in a scene that’s around 15 minutes longer than it needed to be).
There’s Kirron Kher doing a pathetically contrived accent: pronouncing “you” as “jew” and “wishes” as “bishes”, and declaiming each sentence as if she’d just finished rehearsing it in her mind four or five times – which she probably had. And I’ve lost faith in Naseerudin Shah, or at least in his choice in films; could it be that he’s become overenthusiastic about this supposed “experimentation” that’s happening in Indian cinema (the crossover blah blah for instance), and is agreeing to be part of any nonsensical project that comes his way? He’s in at least four of the movies being telecast at the festival, and I have no idea whether the others are any good. (Incidentally, Soumitra Chatterjee was in Faltu, which made it a generally bad day for great actors. Last year, sitting in exactly the same hall, I watched him in Charulata and Sonar Kella. What a fall.)

Reviews of Paradise Now here.
Overheard
Emcee (introducing Conrad Rooks’ Siddhartha, starring Shashi Kapoor and Simi Garewal): “In this film, Simi Garewal is unrecognisable from her present-day avatar.”
Anonymous shouts from audience: “She better be!”
Update: Nikhil weighs in with some tips for Cinefan-goers. To which I'd like to add that I'm happy about the addition of a canteen this year. (It's another matter that at one point today I found myself eating seekh kabab with kulcha - no typo - and tomato ketchup. Quite experimental even by my high standards.)
Seekh kebabs .. with kulcha .. and ketchup?
ReplyDeleteJoy Orjoon, you are either a Spartan or a Philistine.
Can that gel with being a cine-aste?
J.A.P.
Paradise Now seems very interesting. Will make it a point to watch it some time. Hope you don't have such a poor day film wise in the future!
ReplyDeleteWhenever I have been to film festivals, I make it a point to check out imdb ratings before hand without looking at the story and stuff. That way, I can exclude the movies which are not good in most people's opinion as you are generally short of time in such festivals..
Pratyush: I don't think IMDB ratings are a very good barometer, even for the casual movie watcher - they're often rigged, and even when they aren't they can get very random. Besides, for most of the films shown at this particular festival, there would be very little info on the IMDB page.
ReplyDeleteJAP: The seekh + kulcha was quite palatable compared to the first two films.
Love that anonymous audience comment!
ReplyDeletethey dont publish booklets? often you get a good idea of how the movie is just by reading the description. for example, I would think twice before going to an nri movie about cultural disconnection etc... :)
ReplyDeleteand how come they are showing a michael haneke movie in an asian film festival?
valley of flowers was a disaster. didn't feel like watching any other film after that. but will catch parzania, siddhartha and yun hota to kaisa hota this week. parzania, i believ is quite good. missed spring, summer...wonder how was it.
ReplyDeletebeen a pleasure reading your blog...are now in the 'reading it' list on my own blog! thanks
ReplyDeletesahiba, not that you need to take my word for it, but parzania was quite bad. it's a perfect example of how, just because your heart is in the right place, your film automatically doesn't become a good one.
ReplyDeletespring, summer...if you've never watched a kim ki-duk, yeah it's ok. but in the main, it's buddhism lite.
what's so experimental about seekh kebabs and kulcha? Isn't that how you're supposed to eat them?
ReplyDelete