Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Decelerate, Sir Raleigh

I don’t normally blog about unintentionally funny signboards (because where does one stop?) but had to mention this one. While waiting at a red light near ITO today, I descried the following sign, put up by the Traffic Police:

“Driving fast is not bravery,
it is false chivalry”

(Well but of course it’s false if, instead of stopping and spreading out a jacket for a lady to cross the road, you accelerate and run her over instead. Very bad chivalry.)

Incidentally ‘chivalry’ reminded me of another time on the road when I overtook a car from the left (we Delhi drivers do that a lot) and behind the wheel was this atrabilious aunty who caught up with me at the traffic light and bellowed, “You think you can take advantage because I am a mare-woman?” (I’m sure she meant “mere”.) Delhi’s roads, sigh. They supply so much material for blogs. And I’m going to miss it all, now that I’m no longer doing the daily home-to-office-and-back grind.

23 comments:

  1. Hey, sitting at home has its benefits! You start writing better fiction.

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  2. “You think you can take advantage because I am a mare-woman?”

    "But neigh, dear lady, of course not"

    (Please don't throw anything at me)

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  3. You must be taking the right turn from ITO Bridge to Mayur Vihar/Noida, I presume. Can't miss that dusty apostle, the protector of life. Used to read it every night on the way back to home. Worked as a kind of comic relief after putting BS to bed.

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  4. have heard some Delhi folks utter the word "measure" as "mare" or maybe even "myer".

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  5. people in delhi are uncouth. all of them, and unconditionally. the place ought to be wiped off the face of the earth, along with those who call it home.

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  6. My favourite sign, and quite a popular one, I believe:
    "Chilled Bear Sold Hair."
    I'll have mine with fries, please. :)

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  7. Anonymous

    I second the motion :) :) :)

    LOL !! ROTFL !!

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  8. Excellent blog! I give it an A+ with a Gold Star!! If you want, you can check out my xbox360 blog that reveals many things that nobody knows about xbox360!

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  9. There's one in my area:
    Oh, o Jaane Jana,
    Pickar mat chalana.


    And it's written in English.

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  10. Totally irrelevant to the topic, but Jai, it'll be Sir Walter actually. Didn't you take that standard BS test in which one question was something on Sir Don (Donald Bradman after being knighted)?

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  11. Marauder: well yes, but "Sir Walter" in the post head wouldn't have made the reference as obvious, would it? It's called blogger's licence.

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  12. atrabilious? sweet mother mary. or marey.

    incidentally, i second MM on the Sir Raleigh thing; people who will get the reference will note that its incorrect before they get the reference. licenses bloggers and driving be damned. you cant say atrabilious and sir raleigh in the same post.

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  13. Any idea why Nicotine Anonymous offices have dart boards with Sir Walter’s mug on them?
    PS: Atrabilious? Had to dust my copy of OED. Doesn't sound like the meaning.

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  14. atrabilious? Of frabjous day!!
    @ MM and his duckiness:
    And I am the one who's accused of being an ossifier of the language. But thank ye, thank ye.

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  15. i saw this in kashmir on the road to gulmurgh.
    "if you are married to speed, divorce her!"
    i still wonder if its a good idea to divorce speed. :)

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  16. ...good idea to divorce speed

    don't know abt divorce speed, but "speed-divorce" is definitely catching up..

    I read this somewhere, "speed kills, kill speed"

    btw, allow me to expose my ignorami/il-literatti self, and ask - (*oh, the horror*) - who is Sir Walter and who is Sir Raleigh; and why is Sir Raleigh scuffling with Sir Walter?

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  17. Jaaaa .. the M-Map and Samit have pre-empted me. Seriously, Joy, why dumb down? Your readership MAY be verreh discerning.

    Somebody asked why Raleigh's picture adorns dartboards in Smokers' Anonymous or some such thing. Presumably because he is supposed to have introduced snoking tobacco to the Old World (though the stuff itself is named after the comparatively obscure Jean Nicot)

    And finally, Joy, would be grateful for review of my first attempt at review. (I can't be much worse than Richard Corliss, at least!)

    J.A.P.

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  18. obviously, the author made a mistake with the knighthood convention and instead of accepting that, he made it sound like "dumbing it down" *tut tut*

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  19. How have you managed to find a way out of the daily commute to work? Does BS allow telecommuting? This probably sounds like a TimePass question but it isn't. I am a journalist too and would love to trade in the three hours of crowds, madness, and groping that I endure everyday, for more time at home to focus on writing and staying sane. So any news of workplaces finally waking up to the perfect beauty of allowing people to work from home, will cheer me up for weeks.

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  20. Thank you, kind sir. For your time ad for the kind words.

    Now about the structure ... *settles down with notebook and pencil ...*

    J.A.P.

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  21. Spotted in a Mohali Cyber Cafe:

    There will be no electricity from 10 AM to 12 AM. Please bare with us.

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  22. atrabilious sounds like what it means. think it shares a root with bile...

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