Overheard last night at a party hosted by The Compulsive Confessor, struck down in her prime by clubfoot:
The Compulsive Confessor: Jai, you’re looking very lost and bored and out of things. Are you having such a terrible time?
Jabberwock (stunned out of reverie, spilling vodka on Compusive Confessor’s dog): Huh? No, not at all. Was just brooding about how difficult it will be to blog about any of this, knowing that you monitor my site. I’m starting to feel like mainstream media now.
Confessor (brave smile, lip trembling slightly): Oh, please feel free to write anything you want to. I promise I won’t mind. (Looks dangerously close to tears.)
Putu the Cat (sticking cigarette butt into Confessor’s dog): Putu is sure everybody is having a very good time at this fine party.
Enthusiastic young Purdue preppie to Samit Basu: Gosh, are you sure you’re Samit Basu? What a small world this is! We were talking about your book just yesterday.
Samit Basu (rolling eyes and pouting seductively, an expression agreed on before the party got underway): I’m sorry, I know I should be showing more enthusiasm but I’m comfortably high and I couldn’t care less.
Another enthusiastic young preppie: Now let’s all play “I Have Never…”
The charmingly named “I Have Never”, it transpires, is a party game where one person makes a startling revelation about his/her life experiences, e.g. “I have never made out with a dolphin in an elevator” and then the rest of the people present either sip from their drink (if the statement holds good for them) or leave their glass on the table (if it doesn’t). In the dolphin example, everyone sips, except for Putu the Cat, who has done many things with many beasts in many different places.
Compulsive Confessor: Okay, I have never…
Shawg the Dawg: …said anything clever.
(The sardonic Shawg the Dawg, a good friend who disapproves of blogging – and who, if he ever took to it, would be the most entertaining blogger on the circuit - was in his element, though he sat in the same fixed spot throughout the party, regarding everyone detachedly, much like the sage Vyasa during the Mahabharata war, and groaning when Mr Big songs were played.)
Confessor (looking stricken) Stop being mean to me!
Jabberwock: I have never been to a party this exciting.
No one sips. Everyone looks confused.
Samit Basu winks lasciviously at the jabberwock.
And soon after, we all leave.
Postscript: Some of the above is tasteful exaggeration, though considering everything I’ve had to leave out it more than balances out. Sorry, eM. And do invite us again.