Spellwreck

There’s been too much gravitas in the blogosphere lately, so here’s a two-bit attempt at lightening the mood (though of course there’s always the danger that this will make it worse). Many summers ago, while editing a film piece for Britannica, I discovered that Microsoft Word’s Spellcheck proffered the suggestion “Urinal sin” for the name of the revered director Mrinal Sen. (This was around the time George Michael was arrested for doing unnamable things in a public toilet.) Shaken, I made it my mission to track other such dastardly forced conversions, some of which I now present you:

Mallika Sherawat - Manlike shrew

Rani Mukherji - Rank moocher

Preity Zinta - Peaty zinc

Ajay Devgan - Ahoy, deviant

Sanjay Dutt - Sandy dust

Hrithik Roshan - Heretic Russian (also Rhythmic Russian, but that just feels wrong)

Sanjay Leela Bhansali - Sunday lilac, banal

Vidhu Vinod Chopra - Idaho vendor choir (now there’s a concert I’d never attend). Also, Vishnu vine chops

Karan Johar - Koran Jihad

Sachin Tendulkar - Sacking tenderly

Ritwik Ghatak - Rethink Ghana. Also, Ratfink gate and Nitwit grated

Mithun Chakraborty - Methane chalkboard (sorry, Great Bong)

(Strategically placed commas mine)

P.S. "Arindam Chaudhuri" becomes "Grandma Claudia" or "Random chihuahua", take your pick.